This is life now

Our family has a new addition, and now we are deep into a new family dynamic.  I find myself looking at where I am and wondering how I got here.  Am I really that 30 year old stay-at-home-mom of two kids living in a story and a half house on the cul-de-sac? It seems like a long time ago that I was working in a lab or office every day and my thoughts were on furthering my education and career and trying my best to work hard to make more money.  Now, most days the extent of my thoughts are what to make for dinner and how to keep Sophia entertained.  I've abandoned this blog for a long time since life got busy and gone are the days I can sit and knit for hours.  I am going to try to start posting regularly, if for nothing else than to document my days and thoughts. 

Reflecting on 5 months

I can't believe its been 5 months. I am still amazed....everything about her is so perfect. Every time I look at her I think of the first ultrasound we saw, of a tiny pulsing grain of rice. How miraculous is it, that two single cells merged to eventually become this little human being! I imagine the explosion of growth; the cells that split and grow and split and grow in a perfect sequence and the perfectly healthy baby that became, her only nourishment- my breast milk drawn from the nutrients in my blood. It boggles my mind. How have I sustained her this whole time? Little Sophie, a brand new person in the world.... We prayed to be blessed with a child and I am constantly thankful, constantly amazed. I look at her eyelashes and dimpled hands, listen to her steady breathing, and marvel at her wonder and curiosity of the world. She is so sweet and trusting, so patient and content.

Jeff is so supporting and loving. He is so far away right now, on his way to the other side of the world; the first time being so far from us. I feel like someone took my legs. I know I can do this without him, but I don't ever ever want to. He is the one that reassures me that everything we are doing is ok, and that Sophie will be ok, and that I am a good mother. I love him more now, and I know he loves me more now. I ask him, 'when did you love me the most?' and he says 'today'. That is how I feel too. I love Jeff, I love Sophie, I love our family.

Growing baby

This is our little baby at 19 weeks. At that time, she was 12 oz and 11 inches. This is a perfect profiile picture! Her little nose and lips can be seen, and her bones and organs are all developing well. She is going to be a healthy baby. We decided on a name: Sophia Grace Davidson. I will call her EunHae as her Korean name.

We have many baby things already. We are going to paint both bedrooms and then start buying furniture, put down a rug, and hang curtains. Although we are only 15 weeks away now, I don't feel like she is coming soon. She has been moving around a LOT. My stomach feels like it is so tight and itchy if I don't put on lots of tummy butter and lotion. Sometimes it is lopsided and it seems like she kicks the most when I am resting and/or hungry.

Well so far I have made a pair of pink and purple booties (yet to be posted) and now I am working on a lavendar colored wrap sweater. It is coming along quite nicely and has been an easy knit. I am a big fan of the no-seam knits because my seams are often so messy. I think I will have enough of this yarn left over to make a matching booties and hat, or at least a hat. I am going to also knit myself some slippers out of some nice eggplant colored yarn. I think they will match my little hospital nursing set.

Baby!

Here is our first ultrasound at the end of 6 weeks (August 25). Baby is only 2mm but the heart is beating strongly at 100 beats per minute. Jeff and I are so excited. I don't know if Jeff is ever really nervous, but I am for sure. I have no less than 6 apps telling me the baby's progress and growth. Today is week 6 day 6 and supposedly baby is the size of a blueberry now. Growing at 1mm per day. Arm and leg buds are starting to sprout. My next appointment is September 22. By then I will be 10 weeks. Due date is April 20. I always wanted a spring baby.

I wonder if the baby is a boy or girl. I wonder how everything the baby needs will fit in our little bitty house. I wonder if we will be able to get new windows before baby comes. I wonder if I will be obviously pregnant or just look fat. I wonder how anyone can afford a baby, because it seems so daunting. I don't think i'll mind being pregnant, and having the baby in our arms will be wonderful, but the birth part... I cannot imagine. All I want is fruit. Mm, caprese salad sounds good too though. I wonder how I will be able to work and take care of the baby at the same time. Maybe I will hide the baby under my desk. I wonder how I will be able to teach our baby Korean, when I don't even speak it well myself. I need to think of a name. I want to get our 2nd bedroom cleaned out and move everything down stairs and organize the basement. We need to get rid of the broken christmas tree that has been sitting down there all year. Baby things are so cute. I don't know how we will be ready in time; there is so much to do.

I know Jeff is going to be a great dad. He is already a good dad to George. He is so patient and loves us very much. Last night I wasn't feeling good so I went to bed early. When Jeff came to bed, he kissed me and said "thank you for taking care of our baby" and I said "thank you for taking care of me". I can't wait to see the product of our love. I hope our baby is calm and sweet and cute and cuddly and smart and well-behaved and healthy.

What I heard today...

I have found sweet rest for my weary soul, Found a harbor safe tho' the billows roll, Found a Mighty One who can storms control....

When my way grows dark and no light I see, When my friends forsake and life's comforts flee, Then I know His grace will sufficient be.....

When my faith is weak He is near my side; When my heart grows faint He will strength provide; When the dangers press, then will seas divide.....

There is naught too hard for my Lord to do; I can safely trust all life's journey thro'; He will bear me up, and my burdens too....

Leaning on the everlasting arms.

Oh the everlasting arms, how they hold me, Ever hold me, and enfold me; I am safe in life or death, for around and underneath are the mighty, everlasting arms.

464.
Thank you. I needed to hear those things. How wonderful You are to know my heart and to give me this specific hymn to comfort me.

7 year anniversary

Jeffrey made me this very tasty dinner of bacon wrapped filet with blue cheese crumbles, proscuitto wrapped asparagus, and sweet potato fries! February 22 is our anniversary of exclusive dating, not counting the brief break we had that summer in 2003; I like to celebrate that day because it was very serendipitous, not like our wedding date which was planned for convenience sake. He sent me lovely flowers to work also and they are in the window by my desk.

Uses for yarn remnants